Happy Wednesday, folks.
While we were laying out 2014 back in October, my client asked me to pick a word that I’d like to embody my upcoming year. My mind froze-up – ummmm, productive? Hers, was spaciousness.
And ultimately, that’s my job.
I create spaciousness for adventure-seeking, rest-needing, life-loving female entrepreneurs.
So when she said the word spaciousness, my mind b-lined to: …that sounds rad. How am I going to create more space for her so that her life feels spacious?
And so I began my pursuit…and pretty soon, my head was spinning.
Two months ago, however, I re-visited that conversation, and I more clearly recalled my initial thought [post-freeze] when she set her intention for space. It was actually: ahhhhhhh…that sounds rad. And so I felt like Estelle Reiner in When Harry Met Sally – I wanted what she was having.
At first I thought that if I just got ahead of my client work, I’d instantly create space in my own life. {poof!}
Au contraire!
As I got ahead of my client work, more came – an additional live event, one more sponsorship, an ahead-of-schedule launch…
So I did a few things – in this order. I:
1) Panicked and dug through my closet for my trusty Pumas – ready to run
2) Booked a vacation
3) Hired an assistant
4) Made a “queen sweep”
5) Asked my client to change the time of our daily calls
6) Got laser-focused on my systems
And I realized that while I may feel some stress over the next few busy bee months, that doesn’t have to impede my happiness – or the space that I feel.
I can put a hard-start and -stop to my day. I do not have to work on the weekends. If I have a meeting for one of my volunteer organizations or I want to attend my monthly mom’s brunch and sip on a mimosa {thank you, Carolina}, I intend to do that.
After I panicked and booked a vacation, I hired a team member. More about this lovely lady another day {grin}!
And I signed up for a teleclass hosted by Anna Kunnecke. Each week, I learned something small that I could easily implement.
On the very first day, the lesson was in the words I used.
For example, I noticed myself saying, I have to take my call at 8. I need to be at my desk at 3 for this or that. But I made a very subtle vocabulary shift that ultimately resulted in a major change in how I viewed my day. I started saying, I intend…I want…I am going to…and it felt amazing.
One thing that made my day feel very restricted was my daily call at 8.
I could list the reasons why it wasn’t serving me, but the point would be moot – so I don’t intend to. I simply let her know that our 8 o’clock call was making me feel like I was juggling two things that are very important to me – my children and my job –in the precious time before school. I needed more space in the morning to care for my children – sending them off to school calm, ready, and loved.
I no longer have to take my call at 8. Instead, I am going to take my call at 11.
Making the move created spacious in my morning as well as hers. What an easy way for us both to feel greatly supported.
What I love about the woman that I work with is that she is solid to her word. When we first met, she told me that she enjoyed her freedom and the pleasures of her life, and that she wanted her team members to do the same. When I asked for what I needed – more freedom and pleasure in my own life – she couldn’t have been more eager to help me achieve it. She stands by what she says. Something we should all strive to do.
Seek out the people in your life who want the same for you. They are invaluable.
As you can imagine, I’m becoming addicted to space.
Saying no. Delegating. Blocking off chunks of time designated for one – and only one – goal. Finding a more elegant pathway and taking it moving forward.
My Juicy Glad-I-Caught-That: These trees are magnificent, but even more magnificent is the sublime and moving space between them, as though with their growth it too increased.”- Rainer Maria Rilke
One way I was able to make space at work was to hone our systems and make more constructive recommendations to my client. In the past, when a client asked me to do something, I just did it – you know I’m into the dopamine rush {thank you, Dear Domenick for putting a name to my condition} that comes from ticking things off! But when I stopped to evaluate the revolving door of my day, I instantly realized that if I initiated intimate listening with my client, I could ask better questions, and suggest a more effective plan. Ticking things off is fun. Doing it well is a fun and rewarding.
In my personal life, we made a change that also led to oodles of space – we removed TV privileges from our bedroom.
I love our room.
Domenick spearheaded a redecorating effort a few months back and now our room is my favorite place in the whole house. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing – it always feels better in our room.
And when the boys go down for the night, it’s the first place that I head.
In the past, I’d turn on the TV and watch a few episodes of something or other before I fell asleep. But now, without the lure of cable, I am left to my own devices. Sometimes, I read, but more often than not, I simply climb into bed and let my mind wander.
Not to the things I have to do tomorrow – because I know that it’ll all get done. Not to the things in my past that I wish I could change – because I know that I can’t.
I just let it wander into the space.
It’s dark. Quiet. The perfect temperature. Everyone I love is safe and sound. It’s clean [because I’m nixing piles from my life].
My mind is quieter than it’s been in a long time. I have lost the need to talk so much – and so my mouth is quieter, too. I feel more gratitude seeping in when I least expect it. I’m picking up the phone and calling to hear my friend’s voice – asking to see her so we can connect with each other face-to-face. I’m finishing a chapter of my current read while the kids get all spiffied-up for school. Cooking healthy meals, volunteering my times, and learning to love our budget.
Before, I couldn’t find the time – the space – for those things on a daily basis. My head was busy-busy. My calendar was back-to-back.
I’m still busy – but I’m happily working because I’ve created a container for my work.
I’m still back-to-back – but when the back-to-back is done, there is a hard-stop – there is room for me.
So this year, I’m creating space – figuratively and literally. Clearing the piles, donating the goods, saying no, getting rest, turning off the technology. Maybe that feels good to you, too.
See you on the flip-side.
In love,
Noelle
xoxox