You probably know what I’m going to say, but I’m going to go ahead and say it anyway – a few months back, you guys blew my mind.

When I sat down on a Tuesday evening, feeling an insatiable urge to write, I figured only my friend from high school, Marisa, my roommate from college, Anne, and my best bud at work, Danielle, would catch it.

Boy, was I wrong.

That Tuesday evening, I felt and I wrote.  That Wednesday morning, I added the draft to WordPress and told Domenick and Kent that I wrote something, and mid-Wednesday, I hit “Publish”.

Beyond the comments and the tremendous amount of connection I felt between us all, I have to tell you the very best, and most unexpected parts.

When I told Domenick.

I wanted him to understand that I wrote something about co-parenting that did not involve him, even though day in and day out, he and I raise our three boys together.

He told me that he loved that part of me – it was something that drew him to me in the first place – and that he respected the job that Kent and I were doing for Colin and Sam.

When I told Kent.

I wanted him to understand that I wrote something about co-parenting that did involve him, even though day in and day out, we do so, mainly, via text.

What’s important here is that I have only written one other time about my divorce.

Despite the fact that I love to #wearetr and that it’s my job to promote local business and economy, I am an extremely private person (see Ginny Rhine and Kelly Merlo).

When I first wrote about my divorce, I hadn’t forewarned Kent.  Seeing him later that afternoon two plus years ago, I knew that I had unintentionally opened a wound.  I apparently hadn’t thought that he would catch wind of my writing, which, in hindsight, was naive since we swim in the same circle of friends.

When I texted prior to writing my last blog post, I assumed he might be apprehensive as a result.

Here’s what I wrote:

“Hi – I wanted to tell you that I haven’t written my blog since I started at the chamber, but I wrote something yesterday as I’d like to start posting again.  It’s about co-parenting.  I wanted you to know because it involves you (mainly) and the kids.”

His response was kind and open (and I won’t paste it here), and helped solidify all of the good that I see in our children.

I had a decent amount of comments, and they all meant so much.  But the one that grabbed me the hardest came from a friend who read between my lines to say that she thought that our situation worked because there were two of us moving in the same direction.  And in many ways, she was absolutely right.  But ironically, on the same day that I posted my thoughts, I came to a chapter in Byron Katie’s “Loving What Is” where she said that it actually only takes one.  And I thought to myself – what if that were true?

What if it only took one person to make a happy marriage?

Domenick and I have been together for over 8 years.  When we met, I was 30 and he was 34.  Between us, we had three boys, two houses, two exes, and enough bad habits to write a coffeetable book.

I’d tell you how we met, but then you would definitely think I was nuts, so I’ll leave it at that.

We went through phases.

We met and it was awesome.  Domenick is funny and kind.  He is spontaneous, creative, and deep.  That was the first two years.

We moved in together and it was stressful.  My house, your house.  My kids, your kids.  My way of doing the laundry, your way of doing the laundry.  What do you mean you don’t think it’s important to make the bed?  Ugh.  That was the next four years.

I kid you not.

By our 6th anniversary, we secretly both knew what was brewing:  the same issues that had shown up in our previous relationships that we had walked away from because obviously something was wrong with them.  I’ll tell you a not-so-secret secret – that’s a crappy place to be in a relationship.

Especially when you have children.

All of it came back during those years with Domenick.

I started to question my role in the divorce – something I had barely considered in the past.  Did I do the right thing?  Did I give it my all?  Was I kind?  Did I live up to my end of the commitment?  It had been so much easier to justify the decision based on what Kent was or wasn’t doing.

Last July, I attended an event that sent me into a major, personal shift, and five months later, in December, my life changed.

I went through an experience that moved who I was.

I came to the realization that my level of satisfaction at work, the joy I felt about parenting, how confident I was in my relationship had to do with only one thing – me.  I know, I know…this is common sense, but it’s one thing to know it and it’s quite another to live it.  Coming to terms with me being “the one” led me to give some more thought to the idea that it may only take one person, one human that is, to make a marriage work.  One person who truly, to the core, gives their all (there is a difference between doing this and being a martyr).  One person who vows to live up to their covenant.

I recently read a book about marriage as a covenant, and the concept was simple.  Two people stand before God when they say their “I do’s”…which means there are actually three within a marriage.  And God always stays.  So if one of the two people in the marriage also stays faithful to their commitment, that makes two.  The odds, therefore, are in the favor of the marriage when God is at the center.  Maybe that is where I failed before.  I didn’t have God at the center.

I remember thinking about how Kent had let me down.  How I wasn’t happy.  How things would be better, easier if we weren’t together anymore.  How he didn’t love me the way that I needed him to.  How this wasn’t what I signed up for.

One thing I don’t remember doing was praying.

Since I last wrote, Domenick and I got married.  There is no doubt in my mind that God was with us that day.  That he’ll walk beside us in our marriage.  And that as long as one of us holds onto that covenant, that our marriage will thrive – with Him at the center.